Brittany of the Valley: October 2013

(OK, it's not actually Saturday night. It's actually 9:10 a.m. on Thursday the 31st. (Happy Halloween!!!!)) The air is crisp, the leaves are golden, and pumpkin flavored delicacies are showing up left and right. This can only mean one thing: Fantasy football season is upon us!

Tis the season for middle age men to live their dreams of managing a football team from the comfort of their couch in Suburbia. They can eat all of the Doritos, 7 layer bean dip, and drink all the brews they want, and they don't even have a real team to judge them for their emotional over-eating problem, stemming from a disappointing life.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

You may be asking yourselves "Is this Brittany's life? Does she play Fantasy Football? Is her life full of emotional over-eating, stemming from a disappointing life? Is this really a cry for help?" The answer is NO, dear readers! Because just as surely as fantasy football season returns with the crisp autumn air, so does another beautiful season. What is this season, you ask? Well, in case you have forgotten my title to this post:

Yes, readers! Saturday Night Live! The classic late night television show that began it's fantastic run in 1975. The show that has yielded inspiring sketches such as:

...And soooooo many more!

(Those are links. Go watch them)

So, dear readers, at this point, I am sure you are wondering what Fantasy Football and Saturday Night Live have in common. I'll tell you! Saturday Night League! Members of our improv troupe, Logan Out Loud, birthed the idea of this glorious merger. Here is how it works:

There are 15 SNL cast members this season (not counting Seth Meyers, as he is leaving during this season)

There are 7 members of Logan Out Loud competing.

We each drafted 2 players, with 1 free agent left over.

There is an elaborate point system, in which our players earn "Atta Boys"(points) for appearing in sketches.

Every week, we gather to watch SNL and root our players on to victory.

THE DRAFT:

To determine who got first pick, second pick, and so on, this plan was devised: Find a member of one of our two local rival improv troupes (The Antics and USU Improv), get a picture with them, and post it on our Saturday Night League Facebook page. Here are those pictures in order of posting on the page:

Mike (left) being a smuggy pants about being first pick with Rob of the Antics

Emily (left) being a smiley second with Liz of The Antics

Me (left) and Andrew of my institute class and also of USU Improv

Dave (right) and girl he doesn't know, but is apparently in USU Improv. Sure, Dave. Sure.

Jordan (right) being a grumpy guts about 5th pick with Rick of USU Improv

Kendall (left) and the imminent death of Quince from USU Improv.

The draft board, pre-draft. (Jeannie joined the league post-draft.)

The draft board, post-draft.

UPDATE: Mike has since dropped Jay Pharoah and picked up Mike O'Brien.

Jeannie picked up Jay Pharoah and Noel Wells.

POINTS:

So, what do the players get points for? I'll tell you! There's so many ways to earn points, yet some players still struggle to acquire any at all! (See Vanessa Bayer and Kyle Mooney in the Edward Norton episode.)

Promo

2 pt- Player who does the promo for the week

Cold Opening Pts.

1 pt.- Player speaks in cold opening

1 pt- Everyone in a sketch where musical guest makes an appearance/ portrays a character

1 pt- Everyone in a sketch where a surprise celebrity guest makes and appearance/ portrays a character

2 pt.- Player appears in cold opening

2 pt.- Player portrays a recurring character

2 pt.- Player is playing character related to host’s character

2 pt- Everyone in a sketch where Lorne Michaels makes an appearance/ portrays a character

3 pt.- Player says “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

Opening Monologue

1 pt- Player appears in opening monologue

Sketches

1 pt- Player appears in a sketch

1 pt- Player speaks in a sketch

1 pt- Everyone in a sketch where musical guest makes an appearance/ portrays a character

1 pt- Everyone in a sketch where a surprise celebrity guest makes and appearance/ portrays a character

2 pt- Player portrays a recurring character

2 pt- Player is playing a character that is related to the host's character

2 pt- Everyone in a sketch where Lorne Michaels makes an appearance/ portrays a character

Weekend Update

1 pt- Everyone in the segment where musical guest makes an appearance/ portrays a character

1 pt- Everyone in the segment where a surprise celebrity guest makes an appearance/ portrays a character

2 pt- Player appears in Weekend Update as self or doing a character

2 pt- Everyone in the segment where Lorne Michaels makes an appearance/ portrays a character

Closing Credits

3 pt- Whichever player is the 1st person to shake hands/ high five/ hug the host during closing credits

1 pt- Whichever players shake hands/ high five/ hug the host after the first player to do so has done so

NFFF:

It would sure be nice to only reward our players for their appearances in a sketch. BUT THIS ISN'T RUSSIA. THIS IS CAPITALIST AMERICA. LIFE ISN'T ALL BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS. So the NFFFs were devised as a way to separate the comedic Proletariat and Bourgeoisie. What is the NFFF, you ask? It is a Not Funny Fumble Flag, (or as I like to think of it: a Jay Pharoah or Kenan Thompson Fumble Flag.) Every LOL member is allowed one NFFF per episode. When an SNL cast member simply isn't funny, we can throw our NFFF on them, resulting in the player losing 1 point for every NFFF thrown against them.

CURRENT SCOREBOARD:

Here are scores following episode 4 (Edward Norton)

1. JORDAN (105)

-Taran Killam

-Kenan Thompson

2. KENDALL (84)

-Nasim Pedrad

-Cecily Strong

3. BRITTANY (82)

-Vanessa Bayer

-Kyle Mooney

4. MIKE (81)